CYBER; derived from cybernetic, with Greek origins where it meant "skilled in steering", a fact I doubt is being leveraged in Elon's wedgy bakkie. Also, this marks the first time I've used 'wedgy' in a story. But mostly it pertains to the internet, virtual reality and the world wide web.
As a verb, it gets a bit naughty doesn't it? You know what I'm talking about. So, let's focus on the word Cyber as in Cyberpunk, the android and robot riddled science fiction world where Tesla seems to want to steer us towards. I'm talking about the Blade Runner Terminator reality where low-polygon vehicles are operated by artificial intelligence. During the 80s and I'd argue even more so the 90s, the cinema and video gaming realms were obsessed with a future that, in 2019, we've already overshot. I refer to Back to The Future, Demolition Man and Total Recall as celluloid examples (without even trying), and as for gaming - the list is too exhaustive, it is giving me a headache trying to hold it all back.
Fast forward to now and we live in a time when VR headsets have reached peak sophistication, when graphics are almost indistinguishable from reality – and now have a place in film as well, with more and more deceased actors being revived in a cyber-like fashion.
The Tesla Cybertruck is for me
Let's get personal, Elon Musk was born in 1971 – the same year that the microchip was invented. Coincidence, I think not – the man is clearly a cyborg, or in full a 'Cyber Organism'. Or he isn't, but there's no denying the influence Star Wars would have had on him 7 years later, and the surge in popularity in Sci-Fi at this time.
Literature had Isaac Asimov, Philip K Dick, Douglas Adams, and so even for me, born in '78 and destined for a video game addiction – futuristic fantasies were the order of the day. Which is why I'm in the smaller, quiter camp that loved the Tesla Cybertruck the moment we feasted our dumb eyes on it.
There is no styling here, only design
And the design is not pretty, but it's apparently incredibly clever especially in the aerodynamics department. This might sound mean, but it looks like it was designed by an AI – with no regard for beauty, golden ratios or fluid lines, there's nothing here to seduce you. Bad angles? Maybe? Good angles? I'd say, sure. But there's no denying that there ARE angles. And more angles, it's a bloody tangram on wheels. With a load bay.
It's a bloody tangram on wheels. With a load bay!
And as an irrational fan (I am) I can only defend it up until a point but then am forced to admit, the Tesla Cybertruck, while it excites me greatly and I'd like one yesterday, does absolutely nothing for the art and craft of car design, it certainly doesn't propel it into the organic future we were promised by the manufacturers such as Mazda with their Kodo mood board.
I remember when cars were wedges
Remember Giorgetto Giugiaro? The Italian is arguably the most famous car designer (this term is almost an insult, the man was a bloody artist) with decades of fine models as notches on his belt. But in the 70s he mobilized the wedge; with a series of emphatically gorgeous machinery you could trace using a ruler. Straight lines hither and thither and in the process he, and his contemporaries such as Paolo Stanzani defined the supercar aesthetic. Partially, in my humble opinion, because they were futuristic. But they also evoked sensations and emotions in those who saw them.
The Tesla does that too, but in an infinitely more polarizing fashion. Like Marmite on wheels, you either love it or hate it. I've heard other defenders of the 'truck saying, "You just don't get it", or "It's not for you". Well to them I say I get it, and it is for me. But I wholly understand why we're in the minority. It isn't pretty. It isn't very clever. But it isn't rudimentary either.
Take this opinion from where it comes, a 41-year-old man who thinks mounting Gatling guns and armour to it "would look dope." Plus, it has a private and capacious load bay, just in case you and the missus want to 'cyber' away someplace remote.
